Today, I had a colonoscopy, and while prepping for it, I kept thinking about things that the doctor could say that would make me really nervous when going under for the procedure:
- "Wow, nice ass!"
- "Let’s see if the resident can do it right this time…"
- "Fine, Kutner, do your colonoscopy. Thirteen, Foreman, let’s get a brain biopsy."
- "Dr Palmer, I don’t think shrinking yourself is appropriate for this procedure."
- "Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a butt-spelunker!"
- "We’ll have to improvise: Kate, get the painkillers from my tent; Sawyer, Sun, gather as much hollow bamboo as you can. Hurley, you’ll need to restrain him."
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Responses to “Things You Don’t Want to Hear Before a Colonoscopy”
When I had a barium enema a few years back, the only thing I recall thinking was, “It really wouldn’t make any difference if the technician whispered ‘I love you’ in my ear during the procedure.”
May 21st, 2008 at 10:23 pm |