While in the grocery store, I noticed that there was new Pez! Well, sort of. There were all the stupid Kung-Fu Panda Pez (wasn’t there some rule about the characters needing to be around for a decade before becoming Pez dispensers? Now every crappy movie has a Pez tie-in. Anyhoo.). But Laurajean, my wife, bless her, went straight for the new Batman Pez: Batman, Riddler, Joker and Two-Face. Pretty cool: having a wife who will buy me Pez is definitely a good thing (even if she doesn’t understand why roleplaying Superman and Supergirl is NOT sexy and IS creepy).

But I haven’t actually been able to enjoy said Pez, because Laurajean keeps opening the packages and eating the Pez. First, Two-Face fell, then the Riddler, then Batman himself. She’s also been putting the Pez in compromising positions, as you can see below:

She blamed the cat. Then said that at least the Joker was wearing protection. I’m not eating that Pez EVER.

While in the local Newbury Comics (I don’t get my comics there, I just like browsing the action figures and such), we found the new Stargate: Atlantis figures. We immediately gravitated to the "Field Ops Teyla." Or, as Laurajean dubbed her, "Bad Hair Day Teyla." Sorry for the poor focus, the lighting was bad. But not as bad as her hair:

Despite the incredible cuteness of the actual Aquaman action figure, there’s just something wrong with him tooling around in a submarine.

Today, I had a colonoscopy, and while prepping for it, I kept thinking about things that the doctor could say that would make me really nervous when going under for the procedure:

• "Wow, nice ass!"
• "Let’s see if the resident can do it right this time…"
• "Fine, Kutner, do your colonoscopy. Thirteen, Foreman, let’s get a brain biopsy."
• "Dr Palmer, I don’t think shrinking yourself is appropriate for this procedure."
• "Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a butt-spelunker!"
• "We’ll have to improvise: Kate, get the painkillers from my tent; Sawyer, Sun, gather as much hollow bamboo as you can. Hurley, you’ll need to restrain him."

"Shortly before four in the afternoon on the third Monday in the month of May, the people of the city of Metropolis learned the meaning of joy. They had no explanation for this feeling, and there were gaps in their knowledge of what had gone on in their lives so far that day. It was as though they were all waking up, or at least opening their eyes, for the first time in an awfully long time. The first thing many of them saw was the red-and-blue figure of Superman drawing a line across their sky, and he became the symbol of their joy. It felt like a miracle, though none could say why."

From Elliot S! Maggin’s novel, Miracle Monday

So Happy Miracle Monday, everyone! Hug your Krypto or Streaky. I will likely watch some Superman animated episodes, and I have both Superman and Superman II in HD on my Tivo.

The Good

The Bourne Ultimatum: Wow, a trilogy of movies that’s good from the first to the third. You don’t see that often enough. This is an action move done right.

Justice League: New Frontier: Happily surprised how big a role the Martian Manhunter had, though disappointed that he really didn’t do much, considering his powers. The voice casting in this movie was terrific.

Eastern Promises: We rented this because my wife is a big Viggo fan and I’m a big Cronenberg fan. Neither of us were disappointed.

The Okay

Cloverfield: After all the hype, this was simply a basic monster film, full of noise and shaky cam, with characters doing dumb things. And yet, it was a nicely made action-suspense film. Still, Gamera would have kicked his ass with a plasma-formed foot.

Resident Evil (1-3): Not as bad as I expected, as long as I kept my brain from thinking. I’m a sucker for Milla movies, I admit.

The Bad

I Am Legend: Gah. So much money spent on so little. When will filmmakers realize that special effects just can’t make a shit script smell any better?

Live Free or Die Hard: How lame is it that John McClane can’t even use his trademark phrase in this PG-13 mess? Really lame.

30 Days of Night: Based on a comic series that I haven’t read, but probably should. I know there’s a certain amount of disbelief suspension that must be made for these types of survival horror movies, but really, it seems that if the characters had IQs above 70, these movies would be about 20 minutes long.

Atonement: I always hate it when overwrought, overacted movies are praised to high heaven.

Perhaps not as glamorous as Talk Like a Pirate Day, but likely celebrated more than Miracle Monday (coming May 19th this year!).

• Watching Resident Evil in HD. Zombies and Milla! I know it is a bad movie, but c’mon, zombies and Milla!
• Playing Last Night on Earth, a fun zombie game. Dibs on the zombie side!
• Waiting to see what Polite Dissent has in store for Peeps this year. The Legion of Super-Peeps will be hard to top.
• I also tend to watch Godspell on Easter, because watching Jack Bristow from Alias dressed as a hippie Superman reaches me deep in my atheist heart.

As always, let’s remember the reason for the season:

• Zombie Jesus
• Zombie Jesus at Uncyclopedia
• The Passion of Zombie Jesus

SWSX (South by Southwest)

I’m probably just jealous that other people are there. But it does seem like the whole thing is run off of "smug."

Secret Invasion

I barely have interest in company-wide crossovers when I give a crap about the characters, much less with Marvel characters. "He/She’s a Skrull" is this year’s "Superboy punch."

Iron Man and The Dark Knight movies

Just can’t manage to work up much enthusiasm for either.

There’s probably much more, but I don’t care enough to write about them.